Sex and the single mom

Yeah, I’ve been single a while… perhaps too long for my own good (or the good of the next man I happen to get naked in bed.. I may break him)

So, I’ve recently started dating again.  This is a small collection of some things I’ve encountered on some dating profiles lately.  Not really funny, just things I’ve encountered…

The “I have a penis pic” guy, who thinks that sending me a photo of his “member” is a GOOD opening.  Funny, most of them are SMALL… tooooo small to be fun!

The “HI” message.  One word, that’s it..  my all time favorite was HY.. yes, with a Y…

The “blank” profile.  Why go through 9000 attempt to find a username that isn’t taken to not bother to actually FILL in the thing?

The “weird” dude…. “I would drag my dick through broken glass to see you”  Can we say BLOCK?

The “You don’t know my name yet but here is my number, call me so we can have phone sex”  Yeah, no.  There are 900 numbers you can call for that.  99 cents a minute, what a deal!

The WTF guy… “Can you send me a picture of your teeth and feet? I love teeth and feet.”

The “Too Much Too Fast” guy…. First email: “I love you.”

The “I don’t know what to call him” guy:  “You said you were 48. You look 38. I’d like to give you 8 inches!”

The “Lets just put it all out there guy”  Second email.. Mind you, I don’t know his name yet…  “Do you like to be choked during sex?”

The guy I’m not interested in and just ignore, you then starts a conversation with himself, which continues over the course of 5 days (so far).  No, I haven’t blocked him, his talking to himself is entertaining.

And only today I received this one:  Hey there, pretty lady. What should we order for breakfast the morning after our date?

 

 

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