Monthly Archives: May 2016

Why do I bother?

As I’ve stated before, this is not a clean blog… It contains adult situation, language and is not recommended for young audiences… It is specifically designed to be viewed by adults and therefore may be unsuitable for children under 17. This blog may contain one or more of the following: crude indecent language and sexual situations.

Having said that, I wonder what men are thinking sometimes. I mean seriously, from getting emails from them asking for panties to photos of my feet and asking if I would be willing to let them paint my toes, photos of shoes they want me to wear for them, and asking me if I would allow them to “landscape” my”bushes”this whole online dating thing turns from being fun and interesting to being scary and creepy.

I try not to be rude to people, but seriously, this is getting VERY tiring.

I’ve decided to join E-harmony, and am a paying member. I deleted all the other sites, the free stuff, the “I’m married looking for someone to make me feel excitement again” sites… and the “Let’s hook up, do you have issues with someone who is 23?” and “Are you 420 friendly?” and “I’m not looking for a relationship, just a fuck buddy”.

So I joined the 1000 question website, paid my not so little month of billing, and started answering the questions. With this number of questions and the depth of them I’m amazed how anyone can actually have anything to talk about after!  Asking me my favorite color, presidential preference, car I drive, kids I have, favorite music, and movies and how many fingers and toes I have, my first date (IF I ever get one) from this site will be the most boring thing on the face of this earth.  Talking to someone is a chore, and you scramble to find a single subject that isn’t touched on by the book of questions.Then HE sent me a message.  Talked for a few hours, and then the neediness showed it’s ugly head. DUDE, you’re 55, understand I have a life and I’m NOT pinned to my computer for 24/7/365… I DO need to walk away and, I don’t know maybe SLEEP… I woke this morning to a book length email berating me for signing off (even though I DID say good night and he replied in kind) I was called names I didn’t know existed, and then he started cutting me down for my looks, likes, dislikes, etc..

Where do these men come from? But I AM starting to understand that this fishing pond of online dating is for the men who are NOT capable of getting a date in real-time. But what does that say about me in the process?  I’m in that pond fishing too… Does that make me incapable of finding a real date in person? When you look for information on dating site profiles, most of them tell you that it’s YOU attracting these men… that it’s MY fault… that I have done something, said something, posted something to lure them to my profile…

SERIOUSLY??

I keep hoping that some meeting I go to, some store, etc, somewhere he’s looking for ME too…  And he’s going to find me…

But, is it a bad thing that I am actually considering selling my panties to that last guy who offered me $30 a pair?

 

 

 

Dating isn’t what it used to be!

Again, a heads up to you.. this is NOT a censored blog… IF swears and sexual subjects are offensive to you, PLEASE do NOT read my posts… This edition has clips from emails sent to me… they are NOT pleasant or even funny… so PLEASE don’t read me if you get offended….   THANKS!

SO, having said that…… Some men, seriously, what do they think when they send emails to women who interest them?  I posted a profile on Craigs List a few weeks ago… Aside from it being deleted for my use of “key” words in sentences such as:  *I hate spiders, your job will be killing them*  it’s been an interesting adventure… and some of it NOT very pleasant..

My post was cleaned up for Terms Of Service language mistakes…… but yet many men flagged it……

Family is extremely important to me. IF you don’t understand that, DON’T contact me. Jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. I ride my own motorcycle, and wrench it when needed. I’m not looking for a knight in shining armor… a sweet man in blue jeans suits me JUST fine. (I am afraid of spiders, so you will be on duty for them.) I like going out to listen to bad karaoke, bands, djs, etc. I like to slow dance, but will dance fast if you promise not to laugh tooooo hard. (fish out of water flopping is a good comparison) Otherwise I enjoy sitting on the sidelines and watching the antics of others. I’m kind of shy and quiet at first, but do have a very twisted sense of humor that can be quite dry and inappropriate (Yeah, I’m the one cracking jokes at funerals, sorry)

I have tats….. 4 of them… multiple earrings… short hair…. a husky laugh and I DO snort if I laugh too hard. Hey, it can be endearing (or so I’m told.)

I am looking for a RELATIONSHIP… and we have to click…I am NOT looking to put out on the first date. I am not looking for “special” photos of body parts. I am not looking for someone who is married.

I couldn’t understand WHY they would flag it…  It’s clean… It’s witty… It DOES seem to resonate with the type of men I would like to get to know…  Then in my spam box today I found a response from a week ago…

we” keep telling you no thanks and flagging your ad.
You seem a little thick headed and unable to learn or understand……..
“We’re” not interested in seeing a ad from yet another pushy bitch type. Most of us are looking for actual females, not Nazi dyke bitches playing at being women.
OK then…. me thinks someone has a small penis and doesn’t like women who know what they want? I’m 48 years old buddy… sorry if that scares you… perhaps you need someone with no spine?  Yeah, thanks, move along asshat.
Another post from my spam box… this from about a week ago too…
Hi I’m Andy I’m 45 and I am looking to meet some new people. I am honestly really frustrated I got divorced 4 months ago and life was going great! I just felt this robust vigor and a zest for life that was sorely missing! I started dating a woman that was 25 years younger. She just really understood me. My ex found out about the relationship and started harassing her. We were sharing the same cell plan I have since gotten my own plan. Anyways she got scared and ended our relationship. My ex hated that I was so happy! She can be vengeful! So now I am back out here dating. It really sucks. Would you be free this week to meet for drinks? I could use a night out.
REALLY?????? What does one say to someone like that????
From the “I left our date and went to my exs and hooked up… thanks for letting me know how tough it is to be single and what kind of women are out there” to the penis photos… to the “I’ve been separated a week and I’m so lonely and horny can you come over?”  and my all time favorite that showed up in my inbox today:  “Do you have panties I can buy?”  And we ALL remember my date with the “teacher”  https://alookfromtheotherside.wordpress.com/2016/02/03/28-years-since-my-first-date/
WHAT are they thinking???  What happened to the wait a few dates before you even attempt getting intimate?  I miss the mystery, the romance, the firsts… I miss laughing with someone… being held JUST because they want to hold me, not because they want sex/bj/hj or what EVER may be on their mind.  Is it wrong to want a link with someone? To FEEL for someone before you jump in the sack?  Is it wrong to still be old school and not want sex for the sake of sex.. but for emotions, bonding, intimacy… not a wham bam thanks mam life…
I feel sorry for some of the men I hear from… their expectations and demands are set so high that I doubt they find what they desire…  And I feel sorry for ME too… because MY expectations are set high … I’m waiting for a gentleman.. someone I can trust to bare my battered body and soul to…

Ghosting is a “thing” now…

So, what constitutes a first date? In 30 words or less can someone tell me?  I obviously don’t know, and can’t read any signs from men.

The night went well in my estimation.  We laughed, we joked, we danced, we kissed… I was attracted to him. We held hands.  His hand was on my knee and never wandered up.  He never got handsy.. didn’t grope… We parted ways with a “I had a great time! I will talk to you tomorrow”  I sent a text when I got home thanking him for a great night.  He replied, again, he had a great time, liked my nutso friends that were there. That he looks forward to seeing me again. He’ll call me in the morning for coffee/breakfast… Hugs, kisses, smiley face.

My good morning text never came the next day. 5 days of them exactly at 7 a.m. and nothing.  So, being a “modern” woman I sent one around 8.  It’s Saturday, different schedules and all that… all week he answered my texts in minutes…..

It’s now 9 a.m. the following day…

nothing.

WHAT makes a good first date?  Did I miss something somewhere?  Or is it that guys are just dicks?

Was it because I don’t “put out” on the first date? He never gave even a HINT that was what he was looking for. Not that he would have gotten it.. seriously.. who even does that?  Not that I am judging those who DO do that.  But I don’t.  I am still “Old fashioned” and need to have a connection with someone and that needs to develop over a few dates and few weeks before I hop in the proverbial sack.  And I usually know in moments of meeting someone IF that person is even worthy of my shaving my legs and pulling out the matching undies for the next date or two.

Listen to me, I haven’t even GOTTEN to the second flipping date in decades…

Am I broken? Is that what the issue is? Am I still in the 1980’s with the way I date and think? Wouldn’t someone close to my own age be in that same mind set too?   I’m not a low cut shirt, high-heels, gobs of make-up type of girl.  I’m a tom-boy… I like digging in the dirt, I can use a hammer, change my own oil, and ride a motor cycle.  My fashion is Jeans and a t-shirt but I DO clean up nicely when it’s warranted.  I’m reserved. I don’t really get loud.  I don’t drink.  I don’t do drugs. I don’t smoke. I do swear if the situation is appropriate. I have a twisted sense of humor and sometimes crack jokes at funerals.

I also don’t have sex with someone on the first date.

I don’t and won’t chase a man who doesn’t want me.

And apparently I can’t read situations as well as I thought I could.

I used to think it was my weight. That men couldn’t be attracted to someone who had the extra fluff that I had… that they weren’t capable of riding the waves a bigger girl could give.

Obviously it’s not, and somewhere along the line I broke, and I’m not aware of it.. or where that break is… or even how to fix it…

I want to text this guy and ASK what did I misread? Where did I mess up? What was it that I did wrong that made him run like he did?  Not that I would change who I am… that’s NOT me at all.. take me or leave me…

But I would like to know what it is that makes men run like the devil is at their heals.

 

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