Ghosting is a “thing” now…

So, what constitutes a first date? In 30 words or less can someone tell me?  I obviously don’t know, and can’t read any signs from men.

The night went well in my estimation.  We laughed, we joked, we danced, we kissed… I was attracted to him. We held hands.  His hand was on my knee and never wandered up.  He never got handsy.. didn’t grope… We parted ways with a “I had a great time! I will talk to you tomorrow”  I sent a text when I got home thanking him for a great night.  He replied, again, he had a great time, liked my nutso friends that were there. That he looks forward to seeing me again. He’ll call me in the morning for coffee/breakfast… Hugs, kisses, smiley face.

My good morning text never came the next day. 5 days of them exactly at 7 a.m. and nothing.  So, being a “modern” woman I sent one around 8.  It’s Saturday, different schedules and all that… all week he answered my texts in minutes…..

It’s now 9 a.m. the following day…


WHAT makes a good first date?  Did I miss something somewhere?  Or is it that guys are just dicks?

Was it because I don’t “put out” on the first date? He never gave even a HINT that was what he was looking for. Not that he would have gotten it.. seriously.. who even does that?  Not that I am judging those who DO do that.  But I don’t.  I am still “Old fashioned” and need to have a connection with someone and that needs to develop over a few dates and few weeks before I hop in the proverbial sack.  And I usually know in moments of meeting someone IF that person is even worthy of my shaving my legs and pulling out the matching undies for the next date or two.

Listen to me, I haven’t even GOTTEN to the second flipping date in decades…

Am I broken? Is that what the issue is? Am I still in the 1980’s with the way I date and think? Wouldn’t someone close to my own age be in that same mind set too?   I’m not a low cut shirt, high-heels, gobs of make-up type of girl.  I’m a tom-boy… I like digging in the dirt, I can use a hammer, change my own oil, and ride a motor cycle.  My fashion is Jeans and a t-shirt but I DO clean up nicely when it’s warranted.  I’m reserved. I don’t really get loud.  I don’t drink.  I don’t do drugs. I don’t smoke. I do swear if the situation is appropriate. I have a twisted sense of humor and sometimes crack jokes at funerals.

I also don’t have sex with someone on the first date.

I don’t and won’t chase a man who doesn’t want me.

And apparently I can’t read situations as well as I thought I could.

I used to think it was my weight. That men couldn’t be attracted to someone who had the extra fluff that I had… that they weren’t capable of riding the waves a bigger girl could give.

Obviously it’s not, and somewhere along the line I broke, and I’m not aware of it.. or where that break is… or even how to fix it…

I want to text this guy and ASK what did I misread? Where did I mess up? What was it that I did wrong that made him run like he did?  Not that I would change who I am… that’s NOT me at all.. take me or leave me…

But I would like to know what it is that makes men run like the devil is at their heals.



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