Monthly Archives: August 2016

OLD neighbor post…..

I am putting up the warning with this post.  This is NOT a clean blog… I talk about sex, I use 4 letter words, and I speak off color.  If this offends you.. PLEASE do not read further….  And do not say I never warned you…

Anyone still reading??  Yup.. I see you… and I KNEW you would still be here….

This is the story about Click Click my neighbor.  Click click used to live in the apartment right next door. The tenant who replaced her is the one with the 5 boys.. No, I never miss my last neighbor.

Click Click was a quiet sort.  She had a son who suffered from “I’m an ass hole don’t look at me” syndrome…  and he would smoke the whacky tabacky on a daily basis… I knew because his room is adjacent to mine… we share a wall…  and I could SMELL it….. every… single.. day…  But this is not about AH (short for ass-hole), this is about his stellar mom Click Click.

Now, Click Click was a throw back to the 60s..Long hair past her ass… hippie style cloths.. heavy into social style “pharmaceuticals” and had a portable breath analyzer in her car (court ordered) that she had to blow into for the car to start.  Mother to 6 kids, oldest and youngest living with her..  youngest was my youngest’s age, same class and all.

I first learned about click clicks extra curricular activities one day when my son came home from hanging out with the girl next door and said.. “Mom, what is a dancer pole used for?”  Now, HOW does one answer an 9 year old boy when asked this?  Exercise son.. exercise.  Pauses… WHY do you want to know son?  Well, C’s mother has one in her bedroom… and a bunch of cameras and these umbrella things…

ME:  Coughs… OH???  and why were you up in her room son?  C was showing me how she does this dance thing she saw her mom do… Coughs… Well, I don’t think it’s really a great idea for you to be going up in her room.. that’s not nice..   OK mom.. I’m going out to see J across the street…. Ok son.. have fun…

Cameras? Umbrellas? A FREAKIN POLE??  WHAT is she doing up there??

4 days later my question is answered….. J’s mother comes over with my youngest and her son in tow…. apparently they can see my neighbors bedroom from J’s bedroom across the street………… What are we going to do about it?  WELL… we go next door and knock… and knock… and knock…. and finally click click comes to the door… in a see-threw robe… I’M WORKING WTF DO YOU WANT?

We want you to close your blinds! While my son and J are standing behind us, gaping at her in her see-through what ever it was she was wearing…  Ok son… J.. run along and ride your bikes…

She had business cards…a website… I kid you not…..

She also put new blinds up so the kids wouldn’t see in her room again….

Her webpage is gone… but if you ever stumble on the web cam for “Bunny Foo Foo”  beware… she likes beer cans and ummm.. other weird stuff…

 

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